Review: Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star by Heather Lynn Rigaud

Fitzwilliam Darcy, Rock Star by Heather Lynn Rigaud
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I...Well...Hrm. Where to start?

The last time I attempted to read Pride and Prejudice, I think I was a preteen. And I didn't like it. To be fair, Louisa May Alcott and Shakespeare aside, I don't like most of the books that were published before the 1980s. So I know the general outline of the story, but I'm shaky on the characters and their personalities. Therefore, I can't accurately judge Rock Star's take on the original source material. I can only judge it on its own merits.

I have never really understood the phrase "purple prose" before, since critics seem to apply it wholesale to the romance genre, but it seems to fit this book quite nicely. I had been under the impression that this was marketed for young adults, so the first graphic sex scene surprised me.  I read it with a raised eyebrow and then proceeded to skip the rest of them because they were, well, purple. It was the kind of writing that romance bigots hold up to 'prove' the romance genre is derivative and putting a pretty label on soft porn.

As for the rest of the book, I felt like I was reading fanfiction, an AU where Lizzy and Darcy are modern day rock stars. The book shines the most at moments when Rigaud isn't trying to shoehorn Austen's into the text. When Will acts like Will and not Darcy, when Lizzy curses because she's running late, when the bands are on stage, those parts are enjoyable reads. The best characters for me were Richard and Char because I don't really know the characters they were based on and they were wonderfully flawed. I could believe they were real, I could believe they occupied this world Rigaud had created. Richard is a sex and alcohol addict who takes responsibility for himself and strives to get better one day at a time. He makes a very conscious decision to be with Char and the reader can easily see why she wants to be with him. Char wasn't without flaws of her own and she reminded me of a woman I actually know. A quick spin through Wikipedia tells me that Colonel Fitzwilliam and Charlotte Lucas, the Austen characters, are relatively minor in Pride and Prejudice, so I'm guessing Rigaud felt free to put her own stamp on them.

Rigaud should have done herself a favor and used Pride and Prejudice as a jumping off point rather than a strict framework. The concept sounded incredibly interesting and I'm disappointed with what I got. In the future, I hope Rigaud, a modern day stay-at-home New Yorker mom, will choose to develop her own voice instead of trying to copy one that belonged to a British spinster who lived during the regency romance era.

Review: One More Summer by Liz Flaherty

One More Summer by Liz Flaherty

My rating: 5 of 5 stars



I made the mistake of reading this at work. I thought, from the blurb and the cover, it was going to be a humorous Southern romance. It wasn't. It was Southern, but it wasn't funny and it wasn't a romance. I define a romance as a book that is focused on the relationship between two people with the obligatory happy ending. One More Summer wasn't about Grace and Dillon. It was about life and loss and all the messy things in between. This is not a happy book. There is death. The ending isn't 'happy' so much as it is hopeful. Everything is going to be okay, it says, you just have to keep moving forward.

I don't read a lot of fiction, so I'm not the best judge, but this felt quintessentially Southern to me. From the pace of the dialogue, the emphasis on community and food, the weather, it felt like I was there, observing these characters.

A lot of angst happens, but it's not angst for the sake of angst if that makes any sense. This story is told over the course of months, not days, and the characters react naturally to the events. Their emotions, their decisions, their relationships with each other, it all made sense to me. It felt logical, it felt real.

To be quite frank, I find myself a bit of loss for words. One More Summer is not for everyone and, if someone had told me what it was really about, I probably would have never read it. However, if you don't mind books that will leave you in tears and frantically trying not to smudge your eyeliner, read this. Read this and be comforted that someone else understands what you are going through or be grateful for a life free from this kind of pain.

I'm going to conclude this with a quote from the last chapter because it's representative of the book as a whole and demonstrates the author's gift with words.


“Remember the ‘hidden paths’ Jonah and Maxie had in their marriage ceremony?” she said. “I think all of life’s going to be that way. The paths will be curvy and maze-like sometimes, and even if you walk them two-by-two, there will be other people on the walk with you.”

“You’re probably right.” He held her gaze. “But do you want to stay on that two-by-two walk with me? I’m talking a lifetime here. No time-outs for good or bad behavior. If I have to concentrate on being your brother’s best friend for a while, you have to come with me. If Faith needs you more than I do, I’m coming along.” He looked around the room. “We come out of the attic together.”

“I’d like that more than anything.”

Review: Dangerous Passion by Lisa Marie Rice

Dangerous Passion by Lisa Marie Rice

My rating: 2 of 5 stars



Blah blah blah. First off, this book was not as well edited as the previously two. There was a lot of repetitive language. Secondly, the heroine is very, very passive. She meets the hero, literally, in a hail of bullets and proceeds to turn over all control over her own life. No railing against fate, no recriminations, no 'let me at least pick out my own damn clothes,' nothing. She's perfectly content to remain trapped within four walls, painting, while the hero arranges everything. She doesn't even express an opinion about the food. It's all 'la la la, I love you, I shall go wherever you lead, la la la.' She does ask the hero at one point if he's a drug dealer. I could never be with a drug dealer, she says. No, he doesn't sell drugs. He sells weapons instead. You know the bad guy we saw in Dangerous Secrets? The hero is a kinder, more user-friendly, version. What. The. F!

The hero was very well-developed and very distinct, mainly because he was the driving force behind the plot. I actually liked him, despite his very clear anti-hero status, but next to the heroine's wispiness, he came off like a bit of a chauvinist. I feel like his feelings for the heroine were so intense that if she'd pushed at all or asked for anything, he would've made it happen, so long as it didn't compromise her safety.

Thirdly, the book felt very open-ended. There was a mole on the hero's staff and he was never punished for his betrayal. The author made a point of telling us how there was one 'servant' that the hero trusted above anyone else and then we never see them again. Even the Big Bad's downfall was, if you'll forgive the spoilerish pun, remote. There really was no closure on anything.

This would have easily been a four star book if the heroine acted like an actual person rather than a poseable sex toy. With regards to the series as a whole, I would definitely recommend the first two books. It's not even really a series as the books are basically stand-alones and don't appear to be connected at all. As far as Dangerous Passion goes, I'd give it a pass and jump right into the Protectors trilogy (starting with Into the Crossfire, which is actually inter-connected.

Review: Hot Secrets: A Dangerous Lover Novella by Lisa Marie Rice

Hot Secrets: A Dangerous Lover Novella by Lisa Marie Rice

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



I got this via NetGalley. I've only ever read one of Rice's books before, Hotter than Wildfire. When I saw this, I thought it was related to that series so I requested it, but it actually goes with the Dangerous trilogy.

First off, while the file read 58 pages, the story itself is only 30 pages. This is an Avon Impulse title so it's $3.99 and I don't think any 30 pages of new content is worth that price. The quality of the story is excellent, but I wouldn't recommend paying more than $1.99 for it. The other 28 pages are excerpts for the three Dangerous books.

This book accomplishes its purpose, however, as my immediate reaction was to check my local library for Dangerous Lover, the first book featuring these characters. It grabbed me right away and I was immediately invested, despite not having any knowledge of the back-story. The story packs a lot of punch for only 30 pages and I liked how smart the heroine was. I don't think it really functions as an epilogue, but Hot Secrets gives a glimpse of the characters' lives during their happily ever after and assures the readers they are still being the people we grew to love.

Bottom line, I'm definitely going to get my hands on this trilogy and I would definitely recommend this book as a quick read, but I'd wait for a coupon.

Review: In Christofides' Keeping by Abby Green

In Christofides' Keeping by Abby Green

My rating: 2 of 5 stars



I feel that if I'm going to rate a book below three stars, then I need to explain why I rated it that way. Especially since this one is freaking nominated for an award.

I hate to keep re-using the phrase 'soap opera in a can,' but I can't think of anything else that describes how I feel about these books. The very best secret child reveal I've ever read was in Lauren Dane's Never Enough. In that book, the hero and heroine handled the situation mostly like adults and they always had the best interest of the child in mind.

By contrast, while she did have some basis for keeping the baby's existence a secret from the hero, the heroine, Gypsy, annoyed the ever-living shit out of me. Your child should come first. You get fired from your job, the job that's keeping food in your child's mouth and a roof over her head, because the hero's sudden reappearance makes you wibbly. Woman up. The hero, who is very wealthy by the way, tracks you down in the ghetto where you are living (with no heat!) and wants to move you to a better neighborhood, but you fight him on it because of your stupid pride. Woman up. Even if you believe you can cover your child's immediate needs, what about college? What happens if she gets sick? At least in Maya Banks's Wanted by Her Lost Love, the heroine kept the check the hero threw at her, just in case she needed it.

I'm not saying Gypsy should've rolled over and let Rico call the shots. She could have laid down some ground rules, like demanding a separate residence or child support or something. In fact, I feel like the whole book could have been solved with a two-hour couple's therapy session and a lot of 'How does it make you feel when your partner...' questions. It seemed like every freaking time Rico tried to initiate an adult discussion, Gypsy threw a hissy fit. WOMAN UP!

Also, because I am me and a champion nit-picker, the fact that Rico was able to whisk Gypsy and the baby to Greece without nary a word about passports didn't sit right. I would have thought that, even with private jets, you had to have some kind of documentation. Especially in today's day and age.

*sigh* I don't know. I've read categories that I've liked so I don't think it's entirely just me, but now I'm a little scared to read the other nominees.



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Monthly Tally: November 2011

I did a little bit of re-reading this month, but I actually read a lot of new to me books and authors. Laurann Dohner, for example, was an author that was recommended to me via GoodReads and I read five of her e-books. Dohner's New Species does bear a marked resemblance to Lora Leigh's Breed series, but Dohner gives it more of an animalistic spin. I would continue reading the series if Ellora's Cave didn't make them so damned expensive. In addition, I read Maya Banks's Highland trilogy and got caught up on her Sweet series. November was also picture book months so I tried to catch up on my picture book TBRs. I only read eight of 'em, so clearly, I wasn't very successful.

However, two of them were particularly good. My favorite was E-mergency. The premise is that the letter E fell down the stairs and became injured. The other letters band together to cover for E so it can rest. The book was extraordinarily clever and filled with visual puns. It's not something I would recommend for a story-time, but I'd buy it for a young child learning their letters. The Adventures of Mark Twain by Huckleberry Finn by Robert Burleigh, on the other hand, I read aloud to myself in my best Southern accent. Huckleberry narrates Twain's life in homespun language. It gives a basic overview of Twain's life and I'd put it at elementary school level.

The best adult book of the month was Tsunami Blue by Gayle Ann Williams. It's a post-apocalyptic novel that I thought was entirely plausible. It wasn't very romance-y, but then it's hard to work in the beginnings of happily ever after when humanity is trying to rebuild civilization. Still, the writing was sharp, the characters were unique, and the action moved along at a nice clip. Just a spoiler for those who get squicked at the idea of animal cruelty, the dogs will be fine.

The worst book of the month was Suzanne Enoch's A Beginner's Guide to Rakes. As I said in my GoodReads review, I normally enjoy Enoch's books, but I just couldn't get behind the heroine. At all. I guess I prefer my heroines to not appear to be quite so cold and calculating, at least in historicals.

Category Totals

Romance: 46
Picture Books: 8
Children's Nonfic: 1
Nonfiction: 2
Science Fiction: 2
Young Adult: 1
Urban Fantasy: 2

Review: Enchanted Again by Robin D. Owens

It is well known by those who follow me on my personal twitter that I have a deep love for Robin D. Owens's books. If I had to rank my top three favorite authors, it'd probably be Nalini Singh, Robin D. Owens and then Shelly Laurenston. So trust me when I say that I am incapable of giving this book anything below four stars. Because, honestly, it probably deserves three. Maybe even lower.

It hurts me to write that.

I liked the first book, Enchanted No More, I did! This is the feedback I sent to our buyer at the time:

 I  almost don't want it to be published so that it stays mine forever. I am trying to come up with words to adequately describe it, but I'm failing miserably. It's much better than the Llandra series and reminds me of that feeling I get when I watch the Harry Potter movies or the Dresden Files or Being Human. Like, the magic's really real. I _believe_. So great.

I can even tell you exactly where I was when I started reading Enchanted No More. I was in the horrifically dusty annex, on a lunch break from compiling an inventory of ancient periodicals, huddled over my iPad, eating a Subway's tuna on whole wheat.

Maybe my expectations were too high? I don't know.

In any case, something went horribly awry in Enchanted Again. All I can tell you is that it happened somewhere in the middle of the book and probably involved the hero. I wish I could point to some specific thing and be all 'Oh, if only Owens had fixed that,' but I can't. It was more like a gradual realization that the book was going off the rails. If this had been any other author than Owens, I likely wouldn't have finished it.

If you haven't read Enchanted No More, don't bother with this one because while it's only loosely connected to the first book, the assumption is made you already understand the rules behind this world. I liked the brownies, but the hero came off as kinda child-ish and sometimes I just wanted to grab the heroine by the shoulders & shake her.

I will read the third book when it comes out because it's Robin D. Owens, but I will probably be a little scared. And that makes me sad.