Review: Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened

Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened by Allie Brosh

My rating: 5 of 5 stars



Snagged from NetGalley.

I made the mistake of reading this while eating lunch. I alternately choked or sprayed food due to fits of laughter. Luckily, my co-workers have grown enured to my antics.

This isn't organized in any shape or form. About half of it, like it says in the blurb, is reprinted from Allie's blog; specifically, the first five on the 'Best Of' sidebar. I was hoping for the Alot strip, but sadly, it's missing. I think they specifically went for the longer stories, but there were only two pages out of the 374 without any illustrations and it was almost jarring to see them after prolonged giggling at Allie's art.

Actually, I just went back and skimmed my way through the blog, and I think they chose strips that didn't make Allie seem...how to put this...disturbed. The post, Wolves, for example, cracked me up again until I was practically under my desk, trying to muffle the laughter. However, I think some people, like those who ban books for example, might take issue with the idea of a pack of six year old girls (the "wolves") repeatedly hunting down a thirteen year old boy (the "deer"). The comics in Hyperbole and a Half focus more on topics that are mainstream relate-able.

In addition to the new content (I took the time to search, half of the book really is new), Allie also expanded some blog posts. Dinosaur, for example, is a funny blog post about an invading goose, but Allie has added new illustrations that elevates it to a hilarious, dribble-your-lunch-down-your-chest-because-you're-laughing, tale. There are more introspective moments, as well. Adventures in Depression is there as well as a new narrative about identity.

If you're a fan of the blog, you won't be disappointed and, personally speaking, I'm glad I've already pre-ordered my copy. If you haven't read any of Hyperbole and a Half yet, I'm sorry, I don't think we can be friends.

#PitchWars: What I Don't Want to See

It's official! Brenda has announced the 47 mentors who will be participating in the 2014 Pitch Wars events. As you know, I am one of the 47, billed as 'Intern Lioness.' Technically, if we're going by titles, I'm now 'Assistant Lioness,' but close enough. As per Brenda, I'm not allowed to post what I'd be open to (*coughcough* Romance *coughcough*) or anything about myself, so I thought I'd talk about what I don't want to see. 

TYPOS. 

If I see typos in your pitch or 250, it makes me wonder how many typos are going to be in your manuscript. After all, you know that you are being judged on your pitch and 250, therefore, presumably you have gone over it with a fine tooth comb. So if typos have escaped that fine toothed comb, that tells me that you didn't look closely enough, didn't care enough to self-edit, or aren't experienced enough to recognized the typos. Your writing is going to have to be pretty damn compelling to make me overlook the presence of typos. 

I give you five of the most common typos I've seen:

1. DISCREET vs DISCRETE: This is my biggest pet peeve. Ever. Discreet means to say or do something quietly, prudently. Discrete means separate, distinct. Here's how to tell them apart. Discrete is a mathematical term. Greece is the birthplace of mathematics. Crete is an island in Greece. So, disCRETE = math. If you want to refer to separate objects, like individual numbers (hence the math reference), use discrete. If you want to indicate someone did something on the down-low, use discreet. 


2.  IT'S vs ITS: One is the contraction for 'it is,' the other means something belong to an intimate object. You can figure out which one to use by reading the sentence out loud, using 'it is.' For example, "The robot waved its arms," should be read as "The robot waved it is arms."  Obviously, in this case, you want to use the possessive term, not the contraction. So, the thing to remember is 'no is, no apostrophe.' This also works for YOU'RE vs YOUR.


3. PUNCTUATION IN QUOTES: Periods go inside the quotation marks. If you're quoting a quote, it's single quotes inside double quotation marks. If you're ending or beginning the sentence with a dialogue tag, the quote ends with a comma, i.e. "The road was red dirt," she said or She said, "The road was red dirt." However, if the quote is being followed by another sentence, the quote ends in a period or exclamation point, i.e. "The road was red dirt!" She stared at the truck's tires. 


4. ALOT vs A LOT: A lot is two separate words. Always. I refer you to Hyperbole and a Half if you want to know what an "alot" is. 


5. PLURAL POSSESSIVE: If something belongs to a group, the apostrophe goes on the outside of the 's.' For example, the house belonging to the Smith family would be the Smiths' house. An object belonging to John Angelos would be John Angelos's object, since there is only one John Angelos. For more apostrophe rules, this is an excellent site. 

For more grammar tips, I recommend the Purdue OWL. It was used as part of my training in college and I still consult it when I need a refresher. 

Submissions open on December 2nd, so you have fifty-seven days left to get your manuscript in tippy-top shape. 

#PitchWars? What is it good for?

Maybe absolutely nothing. Maybe absolutely everything.

Pitch Wars, for those who don't know, is an event created by Brenda Drake for writers who are unagented and are shopping an unpublished manuscript. You can go here for last year's rules.  It's sort of billed as a contest, but it's really a networking event. Basically, you, the writer, sends in a sample of your work, the judges/moderators fish out the ones they like the best, and then everything's posted on a series of blogs for industry peeps, mainly agents, to peruse. What makes Pitch Wars different from Pitch Madness is that there are mentors who select an author to work with so that they end up with the best possible manuscript.

I'm mentoring this year.

I wanted to mentor because I think Brenda's Pitch events are a great way to be exposed to a lot of different authors and writing styles. It's like one-stop shopping for agents. However, I see manuscripts all the time in my boss's slush that are good, but that still need a lot of editing before they are submission ready.  If I pick you for Pitch Wars, I can pretty much guarantee you'd get extensive revision notes. In nearly eighteen months that I've been working for my boss, I've only come across one manuscript, out of hundreds, that I didn't feel needed significant edits.

So what does this mean for you?

Well, the mentors will be posting in late November about what categories  and genres they will be accepting. I don't think it will shock anyone to learn that I'll be looking for romances, all sub-genres, as well as something with an unique concept and voice, probably in the Adult or New Adult categories. However, if last year's rules carry over to this year, you'll be able to apply to three mentors, so I'd probably be also open to fantasy, urban fantasy, and light science-fiction, preferably humorous. I believe you'll be able to apply in the beginning of December, which basically means you have two months to put your manuscript through the wringer and fine-tune your query/pitch.

Take advantage of CPseek and Absolute Writer. Get beta-readers and critique partners who don't love you to pieces. Join Twitter if you haven't already and participate in the #PitchWars hashtag. Follow the mentors and get to know what they might be looking for so you can apply strategically (If you're not following Brenda already, you should be). Several people did pitch critiques before Pitch Madness. Read through the entries/comments and see if anything can be applied to your work.

My boss has signed several clients after Pitch events and getting an agent can absolutely be considered the brass ring, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy the ride. Participate in Pitch Wars for the community and for the connections. Being selected for a mentor's team may mean your manuscript will get an audience, but just being a part of Pitch Wars could mean getting better.

It should go without saying, but if you feel you don't need to get 'better' and that every word of your manuscript is precious gold, Pitch Wars is probably not the event for you.

For everyone else, start getting ready. Pitch Wars is coming...




All opinions expressed are mine alone and should not be associated with or attributed to anyone else. 

Review: Redesigned by Denise Grover Swank

Redesigned by Denise Grover Swank

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



While I saw the plot twists coming from the very beginning, I still enjoyed this book immensely. Mostly because Reed was scorching. I was reading this on the train and when he started talking dirty, I mean, like, whoa. *fans self* I am a huge sucker for the straight-laced good guy with a raunchy side and Reed fits that trope to a 't.'

In addition, I liked how Swank handled Caroline's fixation on wealth. There's a scene where she's describing how she will never let her children experience the hardships she went through and I sniffled quite a bit. It made the moment she realized she loved Reed even more poignant. The relationship was executed beautifully and I loved the transition from frenemies to lovers. It actually reminded me a bit of my own college experience.

By the end of the book, I was fully on board with Caroline's and Reed's relationship. Those crazy kids are totally going to make it! ... Okay, I'm still a little sick. Regardless, I do recommend this one and I liked it better than After Math. Did I mention how hot Reed is? You could probably read Redesigned without reading After Math, but be forewarned that Math's couple is fairly prominent in Redesigned and, I have to admit, I liked Tucker a hella lot better after his actions in Caroline's defense.

I don't know if I'll ever read any of Swank's other books, but I am certainly looking forward to the next book, Business As Usual.

I didn't forget to tell you how sizzingly sexy Reed is, did I? Why can't I find a guy like that to jump start my car? *sigh*

Review: Long Shot by Hanna Martine

Long Shot by Hanna Martine

My rating: 4 of 5 stars



So I've been wrestling with a sinus infection for the last coupla days and despite the stack of manuscripts waiting for me, I wanted to read something that wasn't going to require much thinking.

Long Shot was perfect.

There was no obvious plot holes, no 'well, why doesn't character X just do this?,' no 'I've read this before,' no 'The world doesn't work that way,' and especially no '*eye rolls*.' I barely had to think at all, I could just enjoy the story. It was lovely.

Being me, I did have two thoughts. The first one was 'Aw, that's a sweet acknowledgements page.' The second was 'I'm impressed with how the author consistently takes a very-popular-to-the-point-of-cliche subgenre and puts a fresh spin on it.' If you're wondering about the difference in coherency, the last thought was towards the end and my next dose of medication had just kicked in. In any case, it's true. Liquid Lies took on paranormal romance and focused on a 'race/species' that's not usually seen. In Long Shot, we got that 'small town' feel that's so popular in contemporaries these days, but that wasn't the only setting we got. I was also very impressed by where Martine decided to take the ending. No worries, this is definitely still a romance, but Martine, well, let's say she went outside the traditional 'small town' boundaries.

There was an excerpt for the next book at the end and I was excited to see that it was going to be (highlight to read) Shea and Rugby Guy! I thought they had mad chemistry and I like that he's going to be a rough-n-tumbly kinda sweet. I think rugby may be the next big 'sports' thing. But Chris should have his own book too! *nods firmly*

Anyways, I recommend Long Shot for those cozy fall days when you just want to curl up under a blanket with a cuppa somethin' hot and sink into a book. Or just don't wanna think. Either way.

Review: Uncommon Passion by Anne Calhoun

5 very big stars.  After I finished Uncommon Passion, I sat with a stupid grin on my face for a few moments before logging onto B&N and putting a reserve on Unforgiven. While, okay, it's only the beginning of August, this is my second favorite book of 2013. It's Written in Red by Anne Bishop, Uncommon Passion, and then Heart of Obsidian by Nalini Singh. Yes, it bumped Nalini. The heroine, Rachel, she is the type of heroine that I want to be. She has the courage to break away from everything she's ever known, the compassion to keep reaching out to her father and the hero (Ben), and the self-respect to walk away when Ben is unwilling to meet her halfway. Ben is a police/SWAT officer who's running from his past and chasing adrenaline thrills to distract himself from the emptiness inside. He thinks that teaching a virgin about sex is something new to break the ennui he's been experiencing, but Rachel knocks him on his ass. She doesn't offer him ultimatums or ask him to go beyond the rules he's set out, but rather, Rachel, by simply accepting Ben, makes Ben want to be better than he is. He tentatively starts to examine his issues because she makes him believe that there is more to life than emptiness. The writing was amazing. Calhoun made the smart call of keeping the book's time frame focused on the weekends, at least at the beginning. So we get the sense of time passing, we can see how their relationship develops, slowly and in a burst of passionate fire, without a lot of exposition dragging down the pace. By the end of the book, there was no doubt in my mind that these two belonged together and that they were going to live happily ever after. The sex scenes were hot and yet Calhoun managed to keep the reader emotionally connected as well. At the second-to-last sex scene, I was right there with Rachel as on one level, she enjoyed herself, and on another other, she figured out the psychology behind Ben's actions. My favorite of the book has to be the end. We all know that I love a book that shows the characters making smart, self-aware, decisions, and Uncommon Passion delivers on that with a vengeance. When Ben starts getting himself together, he doesn't rush over to Rachel and be all, 'you were absolutely right, I need to change. Let's get back together!' No, instead, he acknowledges that he's f-ed up and that he needs to get himself straight before he can be a worthy partner for her. When he and Rachel finally do re-connect, it's like a new beginning. They don't jump right back into bed. They date. There's coffee and long conversations and all the getting-to-know-yous that they didn't do the first time around. They love each other and for the sake of that love, they take the time to do their relationship right. I'm getting teary just thinking about it. Long-time followers probably have guessed that I'm quite the speedy reader and, due to the whole anti-delayed-gratification that I have going on, it's rare that I savor a book. Yet with Uncommon Passion, I took breaks. I didn't want it to end too soon. I haven't even started a new book yet, I'm not ready to say goodbye. I hate that this is going to be a trade paperback because I want to tell y'all to run out and pre-order it. So email your public libraries, and tell them to add it to the collection, but if you're going to splurge on one book next month, make it this one.

Review: Drawn Together by Lauren Dane

4 stars.

Snagged from NetGalley.

Sometimes I'm surprised Berkley still gives me stuff because I'm the crazy chick who can't wait until closer to the review date to read the ARC and then, when I finish it, I must post ASAP. Clearly I am a publicist's worst nightmare.

In deference to their nerves, I will not say that while I found the pacing a bit slow and the twist made me go, 'wait, what?', I thought it was a great addition to the series and I'm pretty sure this is my favorite after Never Enough (I love that book...I should dig out my copy and re-read it). Instead, I will say that you need to read the following books before you start Drawn Together: Laid Bare, Coming Undone, and the novella "Sway," found in Cherished. The novella is particularly important because the hero of Drawn is the brother of the hero in "Sway." It would also help to read Never Enough, but it's not strictly necessary (you should, though, because it's awesome).

I'm also going to share with you the dedication of the book because I thought it was really sweet, and I was very excited by the second paragraph. To be on the safe side, I'll white it out (highlight to see), but there's nothing about Drawn Together specifically.

Dedication of Drawn Together:


"Ever since Erin first came onto the page in Laid Bare, I've had so much love for this group of family-- intentional and biological. The Brown Family novels have been a joy to write and I'm very grateful readers have enjoyed them so much. 

I'll be back at some point because I can't really imagine being totally done with these folks. After all, there's a whole new generation of artists and rockers coming up. 

In the meantime, this one is for the readers who've made this series possible--especially for those of you who've understood that despite her crusty exterior, Raven was worthy of her happily ever after."


I didn't know until I read that second paragraph that I want Miles's book with a burning passion. Like, he's the oldest and his book should come first. Or, Lord, can you imagine what Alexander might be like when he grows up? Dayum.